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September 30 what is with Cadbury's/boyfriends and cheap catfood?ok so my fella cant wait 5minutes to for me to get ready,
i write a list of what we need........
then he gets outside and shouts up at the window - cos he FORGOT the list!
when he gets home, he has forgatten two items off the list, but,
he says "I got one o they choc bars (cadbury's covered flake)
I go to get it and its a praline covered flake, so why do i even bother
I know the wrappers are almost identical - so Cadburies your in trouble too.
IBut to take a list and forget stuff off it, and then there's catfood......
we buy her whiskers 'oh sooooo meaty' new expensive pouches,
I mean she always got whiskers pouches but these were extra and 'oh soo meaty' anyway,
you cant buy it at any shop in Tilly where I live, you have to go into town - Aberdeen, for the stuff,
but will she eat anything else, she is Hyper-thyroid, so I cant have her go without food and the subborn little Feline starves for more than two days - I gave in before her i bet she would have gone for over a week!!!!
so thanks BOYFRIEND for getting it all wrong, and thanks CADBURY'S for making the labels the f-ing same,
and...thanks to WHISKERS for bringing out this expensive catfood that is soo good that my cat will eat nothing else.
I will end with a thankyou God for giving me the patience and the will to get through all these frustrations
AND THANK GOD THATS ALL I GOT TO MOAN ABOUT TODAY
have a nice day Ya'll and if you are going out in public soon, put a massive smile on your face,
just so folks wonder what yav got to be so happy about,
Bless You all for reading this drivel
and cos I know how now I shall put a wee pic at the bottom
Love as always
Elle
xxx
  WARNING - WHINGE IN PROGRESSso I changed my mind, I dont wnat to whinge, you know, I spent so long in the gutter. I was homeless at 15yrs
and I spent one winter with NO SHOES, I nearly lost my toes to gangrene, I have had septeceamia twice now, although the last time was a complete new degree of septeceamia I had ever comprehended, but I survived......
although it was touch and go for a while! My birth Parents were Hell's Angels,
but at 23yrs old My Father died on his triumph 750 on the 20th March 1973 leaving me in the custody
of my Mother/Maureen,. So what can I say about Maureen, infact I aint gonna say a word cos I am better than that, I forgive her and I wish her well,
so there I am 5yrs old no Mummy No Daddy, and a brother - whom I love, and was adopted with him - cool
Forgetting my childhood, what a mess I made of my teens and up............
for real if there was a mistake to make, then i mad it, I never learnt from my mistakes either, I have made the same mistake so many timesyou would think that I would?
but NO,
So now, I am 34 and for the first time in my life I am getting better and must be doing something right,
I have a man I love, I have a roof over my head, I have an elderly puddy-cat
I tell you I know I said NO BIBLE?THROAT STUFF but I HAVE to tell you that without my God I am nothing,
I would still be in the place I was at, and you dont wanna be there - for real, brother!
I am a practising Christian - I am practising.
It is really hard to put the New Covenent and its Laws into 'today's world'
so as you can imagine, I have to repent my sins ALL the time.
You see the reason that it is so hard to convince someone to take The Lord into their life, because of all the
crazy, shoving it down your throat, "everyone is going to hell" preaching......
that kind of teachings are bound to turn folk away, but if you tell people that Je4sus loves everyone including their faults and little idiosyncrasies that we have as individuals, so a quick sum up for you..........
So you dont have to stop drinking - unless its to a degree that hurts someone else, you dont have to be perfect, and you dont have to go to church - those are all personal choices, and we will always 'sin' or 'do something wrong'
there was only ever ONE PERFECT PERSON and his name was Jesus, he came to save 'us' the lost sheep,
he healed the sick, he fed the hungry, he brought the New covenent, and He loved every hair on your head, and WE KILLED HIM.
Now,He lives, ready to accept each and everyone of us, even if we repent on the last day - If your heart is pure-the Lord will see it, I am not saying just repent on yer deathbed tho! but you can beleive and repent up until your last day, and you will still be accepted for eternal life in Heaven,
and He can make this life GOOD to - I am living testament to that!
Always Elle
xxxx
  September 28 No title just a quick thoughtI have sat at my PC nearly ALL day EVERY day since i got put online from home. i know that i enjoy learning how to do new stuff but at the same time, it seems i am forgetting my Real life - does anyone know what I mean,I think am addicted,but is that BAD? September 27 How confusing are new gadgets for yer PC????Seriously - I only tried to attach a wireless adaptor????
what happened - al teel ya wot bloody happened...it all looked like it was good to go
and so me being impatient, decides to pull out the LAN adaptor from the router
I lost the net, and when I put the the damned thing back in again, it still didnt work?
like, oh shit, wot did I do?
its cool cuz I am back on again after talking to someone in Pakistan for about an hour and a bit
and after we got the net back up he shared my screen and fixed everything for me
I just sat and watched my PC getting fixed - it is pure freaky.......
watching it do it - seemingly - by itself,
most wierd - but cool, and I still have NO CLUE,
So I thnk al leave the 3-1 printer/scanner thingy till another day when I find my intelligent head
I left it with my human head and my sensible head - just like Worzel Gummidge!
What............you dont believe me?.................
LET ME TELL YOU...........HOW ELSE CAN YOU EXPLAIN ME BEING A 'DUFUS'!
God Bless You all
Keeping it real again............yours truly
Love Elle
xxxx
 ps, to the fool who just popped up on my msn - NO I DO NOT!!!
dont ask folks its before 9pm!!! lol
stop the bus, I missed my stop......................!!!!THIS WORLD ISNT READY FOR ME!!!
Picture this..................
for some reason no matter how you got to thinking this way,
you dont feel 'connected' to this life!!
the whole time you have been on this world, you aint never fitted in - ANYWHERE
You try talking to folk about it, they dont understand what you mean,
damn half of youz that read this blog won't know the feelings I write about
it's like you werent born here you just landed!
I tried allsorts when I was young to see where I fitted in,
like at school - you had all different groups of people....
like the snobs, the scruffs, the council kids, the thick kids, and the swots,
oh and how could I forget the geeks - that was my group.
Oh I didnt pick the group I was kinda pushed into it
So, now after a whole heap of screw ups I dont care to mention
I have found my peace, but still
its still there niggling away into mybrain
"you dont fit in - your not supposed to be here"
So what do you do, when you dont know where you belong
and the world is so f-ing good at telling you what yer doing wrong
I wish I were an Ostrich I would be burying my head in the sand
INFACT FOR THE MOMENT..........................
I AM A FREAKIN' OSTRICH! September 26 out with the old..............Lizzie is dead
ok so maybe she did talk sense but, so did Einstein and he still died
and who the hell knows what 'e=mc2' means anyways!!
I have chosen pink for the colour for todays blog as black just wasnt gonna make me feel better and blue, well I am wearing it out! so to all youz with bad eyesight - THIS IS NOT FOR YOU - lol
 so whats gonna happen from now on...............I dunno, but what I do know is I love making this space up the way I want it, and at 1st it was all comedy clips and stuff, but as my life was going down the pan - my site caught the bug and it got a bit depressing - HEY DONT GET ME WRONG - I hate animal abuse but I think I displayed that video for long enough and I want to bring the site up a notch, I wanna theme every once in a while change it - obviously al be putting new vids, pics etc...........I still gotta thank my friends on 'spaces' yav all been fabGod Bless you all and keep you safe
Love sincerely
Elle
xxx  September 23 dont you just love it when you feel aliveANNOUNCEMENT
i WANT TO WISH ALL MY FRIENDS i HAVE MET THRU SPACES
AND LET YOU ALL KNOW HOW MUCH OF A PART THEY ALL PLAYED IN MY TRANSITION FROM
A VULNERABLE MESS WALKING ON THE EDGE OF A CLIFF
TO THE STRAIGHT TALKING - SOMETIMES WHINGING
LADY i BELIEVE NOW - I COULD BE
spaces has given my brain something to do,
I have leaned new things
met new people
and finally......
I AM ON THE MEND
God Bless You all
I love yiz
Elle
xxx xxxa new dawn......... a new daya daunting prospect to meet the rest of your birth family - especially when it went SOOOOO wrong with my natural mother, I know I wasnt the best daughter in the world but she met me at 19 - alchoholic/self-harmer, you name it - if it was bad - I done it!!
but UNCONDITIONAL is the word that springs to mind when i think about having my children, I know pot calls kettle, my kids are fostered...not like i need to explain myself, but I will - I put my children into care, I wasnt able o give them the normal things in this world, I had a breakdown and felt empty, and I wasnt getting my daughter everyday for school, I stopped cooking properly, and tins began appearing in the cupboard, and that four letter word - LOVE - just was locked away inside I knew I loved them but I believed that they were btter without me and I didnt deserve them, but they are fostered with their Dad's family and I get updates all the time, photo's and I write and send birthday/ christmas presents, its not much but I still LOVE them UNCONDITIONALLY and no matter who or what they are when they are older and might want to come back to me, I will break my own back bending over to meet every need they might want me for, for as long as they need - even if they are 40years old I am stil their Mum, and Ilove em I dont understand what the Hell is wrong with my Mother that she couldnt give me a day of her life without it being on her terms and only when she was drunk did she ever tell me she loved me - it was christmas last year i got a text from her along the lines of "I wish all the best I really do, take care, Maureen" I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK!!!! and a f-ing merry xmas to you to MAUREEN, I mean the text was bad enough but to sign it Maureen - she hadnt referred to herself as that since the first letter i got from her in 1992, its always been Mum, and xmas day she writes me off and signs it f-ing MAUREEN. ok I am obsessing again........and I am now beig told that my typing is too loud and 'he' cant hear 'everybody loves raymond' I mean come on..................I CANT EVEN HEAR MY TYPING - i do have qualifications in typing, rusty - ok, but Loud - NO.
finally I wanna thank my friends for their support yesterday whilst I was contemplating running away with a blanket for company!
God Bless You all
Love Elle
xxx
P.S I WANT THE MEDIA CODE FOR 'COMFORTABLY NUMB' - PINK FLOYD FOR MY MEDIA PLAYER - PLEASE September 22 how i feel about todaytoday sucks
today started so damn early
today is pissing me off
and i can see no end
is it like this everyday and i am blind
or is just today the sore one,
so I cant see the wood from the trees
I have to have my faith
It's my comfort and my strength
call me 'jesus freak' if you will
but i was saved from the pit of this world
and it didnt happen on its own
so God he has my total trust
and is the reason i carry on
Bless You all
I will feel better soon
love Elle
xxx i am going anon for now ....why?yuo know why is it that regardless what you do in this life, if you have been bad once, thats it your chance has been had, if God can forgive the big things why is it that humans hold on to bad thoughts for ever??
On tuesday I go to meet my birth family 350miles from my my house, I met my Mum when I was 19 and after 15years of waiting for her to show some/anysort of love towards me - without having a drink in her - but I am still waiting. so now I am going to see my Auntie, and gran on my mums side I met them once before when i was 19, but a lots happenend since then. and I was drunk for about 90% of the time i was there. Then there is my birth father god rest his soul - I found his father my grandad (in the phone book for the town he lives)about 15yrs ago,and have been intouch for most of that time and met him once, it went ok so I am kinda looking forward to that but still afraid I wont be good enough, aND then theres my brother, my adoptive parents are gonna bring him over as far as I am aware, here we go....i bet ya my brother hasnt been told and 'cant get time off his work' do you know what fuck it i dont wanna go i wont be good enuff for nobody al end up sitting with my dads grave for my whole 4days...........................................................i hate this world and everything in it
sorry folks i best not touching my space today,
fucking cruel world - fcuk,fcuk,fcuk,fuck it all why do we bother trying to better ourselves when OBVIOUSLY the odds are stacked up against anything positive
God Bless You all and may you never feel the pain of lonelyness to this degree, and if you know it I pray you find the way out, and keep you safe
love Elle
xxxx
September 21 one of those daysI feel blue today hope you can read it ok? hang on al change size........
I had a crap nights sleep, my head feels all over the place, I think this darn headache has been throbbing away for about 3 days, I was starving myself so the stomach cramps are enough to wake the dead! for real - AND I still aint lost any weight, I know I have slowed down my metabolism with not eating so my body is storing fat - I know but have you ever listened to yourself
That would be like doing as you were told by yer Mam when you were a teenager!! IT JUST DOES'NT HAPPEN!
I already went to hospital this morning and now I have to go back
Oh and get this I might have chicken pox!
Wonderful bloody wonderful - taxi is here gotta go
love to all
Elle
xxx September 20 it really has been one of those days.......ok so the end of another day hope ya'll like the new vids am trying to find media codes for my player, so al probably leave that till the morn!
I am soooooo looking forward to this holiday - a bit nervous as to what my birth family will think of me, but if you don't try eh?
Sorry about the animal welfare vid it really is hard hitting but I am so sick of people getting away with it, I would kill someone if they went near my cat. I mean what is it that makes someone be able to afflict some of the injuries that these poor animals go through, I read in an article that was sent to Jennifer lopez or someone like that, but anyway do you know how many cats it takes to make a scarf so imagine a whole coat and I know this is might turn your stomach but they skin the cats alive to keep the circulation in the skin, so the fur looks good!!!WTF I mean does that not make you sick, My dream is to build my own Log cabin, and an Animal sanctuary on my plot of land! Maybe it will never happen but I sure as hell gonna try.
one day, and if my body doesnt give in before my mind it will happen.
I am disappointed in the messages to Ask Lizzie, but its cool, rejection I just done that one, I aint so fussed, I just wanted to offer a real person to anyone in need, do you know how hard it is to get someone to listen and give you advice, within the day?? you folks dont know what you are passing up
I gotta go I got shit to do
God Bless you all and, Lord please give me the strength to do everything I want to be an asset in this world too, please?
I love you all,
Elle
xxx September 19 i just wrote a really big blog on deleting all the pervs that snuck on my msnok so i just wrote it all out then tried to publish a photo on my blog of this gorgeous picture of an eye done with scraps of pics of nature, in all its forms I think I may go out at dusk and take some artistic photo's for you to see
I have a good friend well I thought he was but he still asking for pics of my more revealing - pornographic - why cant they take no for an answer - fcuking pervs am proper sick of em, if it werent for the genuine folk av met on this space I would sack it all.
I am 100 percent going for pulling my relationship back together, my fella is a pure saint, he puts up with my changes in mood - I do suffer mental health problems and not just depression but thats all yer getting soooooo anyway I also have premature Osteo-arthiritis due to Joint hypermobility, so I dont walk too good nor can I put my own socks on so for all you out there that think I am just another tramp cos I got a few photos in that dont say - Christian - I am merely focusing on looking at myself in a different way, I have always hated myself, but I know I have a fab pair of breasts so I can focus on them and I am proud of my chin and eyebrows coz I got em from my hero 'my Dad'(r.i.p) so I have tried to capture my sexuality without crudeness, I know you men just see boobs and thats youre brain fcuked for the next 4mins?!?
But not that I should have to explain, I will, because I am being picked up wrong, Yes they look good and hey they might turn you on, but they were meant to be snippets for me NOT YOU, so there you go - I aint interested in yer webcam, and I dont want to see yer cock, and yes I have a partner whom I do love, and No he doesnt know the pics are on here, but that does not mean You can butter me up to go further and give you some pussy shots - IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN and you will be scratched. There are sites for folk like that and here isnt it!!!
Thankyou for your time and I am away for a brew - God I need a holiday - 5days to go - WOOHOO
god bless You and Yours
Elle
xxx
p.s to all my friends - I love yiz and thanks fer coming, am 'aving a bad day! September 18 I think i done enough for today - time to surf!well I had an ace morning, surfing to find some new footage to show on my page, I was in stitches at some of them but they have to be kick ass funny to get on my space, I have been putting alot of time into this space, and neglected the folk that agreed to be my friends, so look out you rowdy lot am gonna leave a comment in EVERY guestbook.
I still havent learnt how to put pictures on friends spaces, might have a go in a bit so if anyone gets gobble-de-gook on their guestbook from me - oops, sorry!
 I am now taking requests for my next song (oh hey listen to the dude singing on one of the vids and I know yav all seen the lion but I cant scratch it, i am proper loved up with him. If you havent seen it - You ain't paying attention to EVERYTHING! go back and look again, and p-l-e-a-s-e leave a comment even 'hello' in the guestbook.
As they say in Aberdeen "och aye, we-yell, ah suppose 'en!
time to dash hope y'all like the stuff - and I would love to know what kind o stuff you want to see.
Thanks fer coming and if yer still reading this - OMG I am yer biggest fan, I never thought folk read owt!
God Bless You and Yours
Elle
xxx i hate banking, why does it all have to be so hardok so last week I had enough money for my well needed holiday and this week I seem to have misplaced soooo much money ists like 200pounds just gone? what is that about??
I phoned wrote everything down but it still doesnt add up?
there are too many 10 cashbacks from a dodgy shop up the road they charge you 1.99 to use cash machine and had a charity box when I quizzed them where it went they made it dissappear!!!
and they got caught for keeping bank transactions before, they point blank told me they dont do cash back but my Halifax says there have been 7 different cashback transactions from that shop
Brian is nipping at me to get ready to go uot so I have to do ask lizzie later maybe never - ALL my great life skills trashed and all coz no-one apart from they two and one today has the ball to hear the truth as it is and I was gentle yesterday - and that didnt work so I am getting Lizzie to put her Jeremy Kyle head on and I challenge anyone to to give her an example of part of their life they are not happy with, and I will tell it like it is - its hard to take your own medicine nevermind someone elses, but usually that medicine is the way to go
Good Lord, even if you want to know the real way to fix a broken nail - IT AIN'T THAT HARD you send a message to this space and your question and Answer are on the next day (sorry pet/ to the man who wrote to me this morning I will have your print up by this afternoon I gotta go out!), so there you have it
god Bless you all and watch over your pennies - they do count!
love Elle
xxx September 17 just a quickieok....hang on this colour is making my eyes hurt
So Lizzie is up and going hope it hits off, but anyway I have managed to freeze my pc three times today and I think maybe now I think I shall have a rest, dont you find that you go cross-eyed by the time you have done eveything you want to do - I mean I dont have the best eyesight in the world, but hell I think I maybe developing a cornea'l shut down!
So, to my wonderful audience I really was trying to change the vids and stuff too but there is always tomorrow.
I love having this PC and I am loving meeting new people, it really is a whole new world and note to Baz - thanks for the Dragon pics and stuff they are great, I will visit you soon
If I dont go soon I am sure to be blind by the morning - and this is to everyone - thankyou for your kind words about the site I am still learning, loving it still - but learning!
God Bless You and Yours
Elle
xxx did you ever...................................ok so I just typed a heap of blog and lost it with just one wrong click - what is with me this week - and youz where are your issues for "Ask Lizzie" I got two letters to answer I need more and I am sure there are some out there that have questions, Lizzie has a back up team for anykind of issue/question and also life experience
anyway I will be changing the videos this week although i really dont want to delete the lion though maybe I just move it too the bottom.
this is getting frustrating all the things going wrong I am glad everyone has music when they hit my space its a fab song - but I cant get anyones media player to work, hey ho its all about learning?!? what doesnt kill you makes you stronger - I AM WEAK I DONT WANT TO STRUGGLE - LORD PLEASE GRANT ME THE KNOWLEDGE TO BE ABLE TO FIX THIS DAMNED PC - OK So it doesnt work like that - but wouldnt it be great if it did?
God Bless You and Yours
Elle
xxx
September 15 todays blogAnother day gone.......
today I have been real unwell am supposed to go to hospital but when yav been admitted so many times already this year ya kinda get complaicent to the severity of yer illness - thats all the info yer getting on that, just got back from town feeling blurgh!! Bought my tickets for my Yorkshire Holiday a week on tuesday (unenthusiastic woo woo!!!)
Sooooo, I have answered my mail, got a couple of starter messages for "ASK LIZZIE" which is cool I have found the way to do it but answers will have to be kept short as I have to use the lists module for the Q and A's, if you would like an in depth reply please leave your address in the message to lizzie - I promise full CONFIDENTIALITY
Soooo here's to a quiet weekend and hope you like the new aberdeen video - we saw the free hugs boy that day!
glad everyone likes the new space - I am on the look out for the media code for my media player the song "sugar spun sister"-Stone Roses HELP ME!!
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS
Love Elle
xxxxxxx
September 14 How good is this space looking?I really have to thank my new found friend, who has also heped me learning new things to do and giving me the confidence to actually try all this, and I think it has really come together,
So now I need to try fix my media player which used to play keane and now doesnt play a thing!
STONE ROSES here we go.........................
................am going in!
By the way - drumroll - "ASK LIZZIE" is now taking any messages regarding any/all your worries or queries (remember though 24hr reply guarantee does not apply until the OFFICIAL LAUNCH on Monday)
small print - when writing to ASK LIZZIE please 'send a message' to the site (not on the guestbook) and anonymous only - find a name for yourself that reflects your trouble, stress or problem(i.e from bullied in bradford) ya get me
PLEASE NOTE THAT LIZZIE IS NOT A QUALIFIED ANYTHING, AND WILL ANSWER ALL YOUR ISSUES FROM LIFE EXPERIENCES ALONE, with the help of the internet for addy's that may help individual cases, all messages will be replied too - look out for you're Q and A on the "ASK LIZZIE" column
God Bless you all once again, i go now to fix my media player
love Elle Answer to the hot coffee question...........................ANSWER: when you spill hot coffee on...say...your leg it hits all your little nerves within the skin layers, Ok those nerves tell your brain straight away that you have encountered hot fluid which makes your brain activate pain so as you know it is hot, NOW we get complicated - the inside of your body including your mouth has no pain receptors, so when say you have a pain in your stomach and it hurts, coz your stomach has no nerves for pain it has to borrow them from the nearest source, like the nerves within your skin layers over your stomach area! so that your brain can tell you there is something wrong - which is why if you have pain inside it's not to be ignored coz your body only goes to that much trouble to tell you if it's a real issue - and not just for a (not so bad - hot coffee) even you're tongue it does'nt burn exactly.....if you think about it, when you think you have scalded or burned your mouth it doesnt burn it goes a strange numbness - annoying but not sore
Soooo there you have it "why does coffee burn on your leg but you can drink it comfortably?
genius - pure Genius
I thankyou for your applause and J this one's for you
for all your support from my first baby steps with this pcGod bless You all
Love'n'stuff
Elle
xxx
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